As a parent, I am often in awe of two things. One: how amazing my parents were and how blessed I was to be chosen by them as I am a courier of lessons, them to me…and now, from me to my boys. Two: how life (and the universe) prepares you if you are aware.
A New Way of School-Life
Like most parents right now, we are all confronted with a new way of school-life. We have small rudimentary decisions to make each day. But, we face larger decisions that we know will affect our children long-term and each day we pray to take the correct turn at the proverbial fork in the road. After a tumultuous first few weeks of homeschooling in March/April I was forced to keep trying different approaches.
Round 1: Overwhelm
Round 1, in the Spring of 2020, I invested time with Dillon, my 10-year-old. It paid off. We felt each other’s time, trust, patience, and industriousness.
However, it was different with my younger son Jonah. I was more overwhelmed by the thought of tackling the attention and focus of my 8-year-old. He and I often run on perpendicular planes.
In March/April I did not even know where to begin to help him. But, I saw the results of that decision this summer. I felt him slip into obscurity; actually, I think he was happy to be there.
But, as a parent, you must stay aware to give your child the greatest opportunities for achieving.
Heading into Fall 2020 with Jonah I was determined to do it right, by being better.
Round 2: Success
#@*!& YES! One-on-one time, right by Jonah’s side, creates a miraculous shift in his energy, focus, and confidence – which results in an entirely different day then when I’m not assisting him. A few success strategies to share…
1. Night-Before Prep
Our school sends the agenda the night before. So, we make sure we review the agenda and set up all of the materials and books he will need the night before.
2. Remember Breakfast
Breakfast is served at 7:30am. I know for Jonah, his energy and feeling awake comes from him having a good meal to kick-off his day.
3. Morning Set-Up
If he is on time, he is late. It is important that he has his computer ON, is logged in to the various websites (as there are multiple), and that has completed his morning check-in questionnaire. All of this has to be completed 15-minutes ahead of the final school-bell ringing! I cannot tell you how many times, when we’re running late, the computer internet is spotty or the log-in doesn’t work.
4. Accountability Partner
I pull up a chair and I am by his side as a co-teacher for the first 60-minutes, the first 2 lessons/subjects for the day. His focus and attention is most vulnerable to distraction at the beginning of school. If I sit by his side, and operate as a partner in his understanding his sense of accomplishment starts to trump his distractable instinct.
Round 3: Meeting Jonah Where He Is
I’ve also learned to meet Jonah where HE IS, not where I want him to be. Josh, my husband, always jests, “Jonah isn’t here for a long time, he’s here for a good time.” Jonah loves to have fun. He makes a joke or game out of everything he does.
I had to stop playing by my rules, and start playing by his rules – if I really wanted to make an impact. So, I shifted my strategy and put the F-U-N in all school and homework.
1. Sync Schedules
It is important that I too understand what he needs to get done. If not, how am I going to be a good accountability partner? Throughout the week, he has standing homework assignments in math, language arts, science, and reading.
I now know the rhythm behind which night has which assignment. Monday is math. Tuesday is 20 sentences. Wednesday is science. Thursday is his book report and studying for his spelling test on Friday. This can help you organize your time and attention with/for them (and you and your schedule).
2. Identify the Activity
Look at the activity from their perspective. Most children do not want to spend their night on homework, after already having a 7 to 8-hour day of school. I have to remember most 8-year-old children have not yet developed the GSD (get stuff done) muscle. It is our job to help them start to build that muscle.
3. Figure out how to make it FUN
I will give two specific examples.
First: math. When we practice our math, I ask him how long he thinks it will take him to complete the 10 math problems (he might say 4-minutes). Then I set the timer to see if he can meet or beat his time.
Second: language arts. For his weekly spelling words and flashcards, I hold the deck of cards in my hand and like a magician and tell him “pick a card, pick any card” and we don’t go in order. He has fun picking his own card.
Third: writing sentences. I sit next to him and come up with silly sentences that (by the way) the teacher would never allow. I might say words like fart, butt, or booger. It gets him laughing, and then his mind opens up for his own creativity to flow through.
The Results
The results have been transformative (for he and I both). We get homework done faster, more accurately, and with a high degree of comprehension. I regularly need to remind myself who HE IS. He likes to be silly, disorderly, competitive, and to think he is doing something he is not supposed to.
WOW! Last week – it hit me like a punch in the gut. I am for my son what my Dad was for me.
