As a child growing up in the 70s, the general sentiment in our home hovered around the principle of “mind your manners.” Albeit important, I am looking to create additional awareness around where my children place value –– eating your vegetables and most importantly, using your voice.
Manners, etiquette, and social graces are a baseline of being in a relationship with others. Using your voice is a baseline for being in a relationship with yourself.
Using Your Voice At Work, Too
The tenet of “using your voice” stretches beyond motherhood. I am finding in my role as a female who champions an all-female team, it is equally important to bring these principles to life at work.
Generally speaking, I value people. Specifically speaking, I cherish each person I work with and love getting to know their personal stories.
I believe it is people (and the unique stories they each possess) who make the world go round – not money.
I can clearly see the beauty and bigness in everyone I work with –– their limitlessness and possibilities that they may still have yet to discover. And, based on that, I know how much more powerful our lives, businesses, and relationships will be when we learn to trust ourselves, express ourselves, and use our voices more.
Yet, I will admit being in a management and leadership role for 20 years…the concept of “using your voice” is a confronting activity for most.
Common Reasons We Aren’t Using Our Voice:
- We do not trust ourselves or our ideas
- We feel like our idea is silly (or worse, stupid)
- Often, we believe that what we have to say will not matter
- Out of all the thoughts racing through our heads, we may not know how to decipher which thoughts are “good enough to share”
- We are scared to be vulnerable and seek a chance to be heard
- We think that what we have to say will not make an impact or create change (so what’s the point?)
How To Start Using Your Voice:
- Take a deep breath each morning and say to yourself: “I trust myself”
- Take 10 minutes each day to step outside yourself and learn something new such as reading an article, researching something that you are curious about, learning something new about someone in your life, saying “hello” to a stranger. As a result, you’ll find that stepping outside yourself will energize your mind
- Pay attention to your internal guidance system (AKA your gut)
- Listen and respond to your gut reaction to add thoughts or ideas to a conversation
- When considering sharing, use the filter: “is it thoughtful, is it helpful, is it truthful?”
Start Slow and Small
If you are laden with fear and do not know where to start, start slow and small. If you are in a conversation with a friend who loves and respects you – try to speak up with a topic that feels safe and is not too emotionally charged.
It’s a shame that more often than not we, human beings, have been taught what to think, not how to think.
I promise you: you have great ideas! You bring value to conversations (YES, YOU!).
I bet that although all your thoughts may not be brilliant, some of them are. AND, I wish you knew that among all the thoughts you have, one thought (small or big) has the ability to change someone’s day – or someone’s life – for the better.
Stay healthy…mind your manners, eat your vegetables, and use your voice.
