Growing up your Mom, or Dad, probably told you, to stop paying attention to what other people say or do. “If your friends all jumped off the side of a building… would you do it too?”
They gave you this advice with the hope that you would remain on your own individual path. Not getting swept up in other people’s opinions or swept away by other people’s actions. They did not want anyone else to define who you were.
Lately, I have found myself ignoring the sage advice my parents gave me many years ago.
Looking Around Instead of In
I am looking to the right and left of me. I am looking in front of me and behind me—and to all the people around me. Not because I don’t know who I am. I am doing this for the exact opposite outcome: for the purpose of gaining deeper awareness and clarity about who I am and what I offer to this world.
I often make assumptions that everyone is just like me. Doesn’t everyone hold the door? Say “please” and “thank you”? Doesn’t everyone treat others the way they want to be treated? Doesn’t everyone want to experience the pride associated with a “job well done”?
Generally, I believe that we all have the same good intentions, but sometimes, that’s just not a stable reality.
Turning Around Disappointment
The good news is: that’s okay. The differences that are inherent in each and every one of us is what makes the world balanced and whole. It’s what makes us unique and stand out in our own way.
The differences allow us to affirm who we are (or aren’t). It also enables us to see the small gap between who we are and who we want to be.
There are beautiful lessons that we can learn when we pay attention to what others around us are saying and doing.
Do you feel like you are giving more—and getting less—lately? This question measuring disappointment can apply to the grocery store, restaurants, a retail customer service experience, or to your relationships.
Recently, I have found myself saying “customer service is dead” too often. I value attention to detail. I love being the receiver of a critically thought-out and high-impact customer service experience. So, when I receive lackluster customer service, I get filled with disappointment and am triggered to focus my attention on how much time and money I spent (or wasted).
These experiences, in turn, can cause me—for a moment in time—to be critical, judgmental or grumpy.
Changing Your Outcomes
When these situations occur, I quickly remind myself to exit the room of judgment and enter the room of learning.
I allow that moment to teach me how I can elevate. When we are ‘in judgment’ of something or someone, we are operating as our smallest self. When we are ‘in learning’—we are operating as our biggest self.
I give thanks to that moment for shining a light on how I can improve myself, my businesses and my relationships. That moment is a gift, illustrating how I can be an agent of change and evolution.
If I implement what I believe to be missing—in an experience, in a relationship, in life—I will inevitably fill the void.
If you find customer service to be lacking, give better customer service. Seeing impatience around you? Be more patient. If you find there is less grace being given, pour on more grace.
Turn yourself into the missing link.
