Our minds can go rogue on us, if we let them! We have a choice: to let our minds lead us or – like an owner with its new puppy – establish the alpha and become the leader of our minds. In May of 2016 I started to work with a mental coach (AlFuentes.com). I was introduced to Al from my business partner Brian North. Truth be told, Brian told me to reach out to Al in 2014 but sometimes it takes two days, two weeks or two years to make a decision and take a step forward that will help us.
Coming into my first session with Al I had some context to what meditation was. When I met Josh, my hubby, in 2005 he had been practicing meditation, breathing exercises and using his mind to manifest since he was in his early twenties. He shared with me how profound an effect it had on him. He would often observe me and tell me to “stop driving in the rear view mirror.” At the time, I did not know how to do that. We met when I was 31 and at that time my mind had 3 decades of conditioning. He introduced me to breathing exercises and meditation but I found myself incapable of pushing through the barrier and discomfort. I could not sit still. I could not find a quiet place in my mind. At that time I found myself frustrated and demotivated but the activity.
In 2014 I was desperate to experience my life differently (starting a new business and being a working Mom and wife I hit an apex of ‘this isn’t working’). I finally took action to meet with Al. Our 90-minutes together started with a deep dive conversation into what was happening in my life and ended with a custom guided visualization for what I wanted to happen in my life. I left my first 90-minute session with a separate recording of both. My job for the next 30-days was to listen to the recorded conversation twice and to kick-off my day each morning by listening to my 12-minute custom guided visualization.
It took me a few weeks to get onboard. At that time, my excuse would have been that time (or lack of) was the culprit. The first time I heard the recorded what was happening conversation I cried. To be a 3rd party observer and listen to a conversation between Al and myself was profound and groundbreaking mainly because I would never want anyone to talk about themselves the way I spoke to and about myself. That alone created a shift in my mind – creating a new awareness around self-talk. The most significant thing to account in my work to ‘experience my life differently’ has been creating a practice around meditation. For almost 3-years my meditative state was always (and only) achieved by listening to my guided visualizations. My guided visualization gave me something to anchor to. As I mentioned earlier, getting my mind to be in a quiet and calm state with no noise has been my greatest challenge and achievement. In the beginning, I would allow the thoughts, twitches, to-dos, and meanderings of my mind – that challenged me 15 years ago – to now simply float by. Although my mind might wander, it was not lost. I utilized the words, emotions and pictures described by Al to engage my mind on a deeper level. Today, almost 6 years after starting, I am proud to say that I am able to meditate alone with no guidance. The training wheels dynamic of the guided visualizations worked to help me evolve my practice.
After experimenting with various locations, time of day, sitting positions, supporting audio devices, etc I have found a formula that helps me reach the optimal mental and physical state the quickest. Here are a few tactical elements that I have implemented along the way…
Breaking it down…
In the AM – Initially, it was suggested to listen to my visualization immediately after waking up in the morning. I have a few friends who meditate right after they wake up, from their bed, and as a rule of thumb they don’t let their feet hit the ground till they have achieved this part of their morning routine. However, I found myself almost falling back asleep if I tried to meditate that soon after waking up. Listening to my visualization is part of my morning ritual but it is after my oil pulling, morning herbs, water, and my body is warmed up.
After a Workout – I have found that my body is the quickest gateway to my mind. If I have properly woken up my body and moved, stretched or worked out before I meditate I find my mind is fertile ground to receive the seeds I am planting.
Sit on the Ground – Sitting on the floor, with a comfy floor pillow, helps me plant myself to the ground both literally and figuratively. I sit criss-cross-applesauce style – with my palms placed on my knees facing up toward the ceiling. In this position I am primed to both root-in and up be in the present moment.
Headphones ON – One of the best gifts I ever received was from Josh, my hubby. Five years ago he bought me a pair of beats headphones. These headphones block out background noise, fit perfectly on my ears and make me feel like Al is in the right near me guiding me through my visualization. This creates a deep connection to the experience and desired outcome.
Our minds are beautiful, soft and malleable muscles. That’s the good news. They are easily influenced to expandable optimism or contracting doubt . Our minds are a key part of the trifecta – mind, body and spirit – that embodies this energetic being that we are. For me, one of the most important action steps that I made in ‘experiencing my life differently ‘was disallowing the all-too-often mental apocalypse to unfold. Reaching out to Al, doing the work, moving through the discomfort and exploring new parts of myself – resurrected and salvaged the life I live today. The life I desired when I was young.
